Public Enemy Number One

An Endangered Species

Here it is - the real problem. All the misery, troubles, illness, tragedy of this nation can be traced back to this innocent looking little can.  It is filled with evil. It is what is making us fat.  Terrorists? Crime?  Unemployment? They don't matter. Soft drinks can make us fat. And fat is the root of all evil. Our new worst enemy.  This week it is my Pepsi, but beware, next week it will be your candy bar or french fry. Eventually the government will be telling us not only what we can eat, but how it can be prepared.  A massive tax on stir fried veggies!!!!  And what about all those people who lose their jobs when the soft drink companies fold? Who will take care of them? Never mind, I already know the answer to that.

Yes, I know soft drinks are empty calories. Lots of sugar. They add no nourishment to my body.  But they are nonfat, non alcoholic and they taste good.  The bubbles make me happy,  I can drink a Pepsi or a Coca Cola, a Sierra Mist or a Root Beer and then jump into my car knowing that I am still in control of my actions.  No delayed reactions, no impaired jugement - at least not according to any tests I have heard of.  If the government really wants to eliminate everything that doesn't nourish our lives, maybe they should begin with television.


Well, I for one am going to fight back. I am going to start hording this stuff now, buying cases of it at a time, storing it in the basement, the attic, under the bed, so that when it is no longer available in this country, I can still have my bliss. Who knows? Maybe I will be able to sell it on eBay and make a fortune.

Sorry for the rant. It was at least partially tongue in cheek. Have a good day!